A fork in the road

My heart is thumping something like it was last year when I knew that we were going to pull our kids out of "brick and mortar" public school.  That was a scary and exciting realization for me.  It felt right, but I was terrified.  Was I up to it?  Could I really do it?  Would my children be successful with me as their teacher? 

We are almost done with our first school year.  There have been so many ups and downs. I have succeeded in many ways but I still want to do better. 

COVA is tough.  It's a long list of subjects and tasks. I remember in my training how they focused on the importance of not just doing the work to check off a list.  I liked that. I wanted school and learning to be fun!  I want my kids to thirst for it.  I want it to be as fulfilling for them as it is for me, but that has not been reality for us this year.  It's become a burden, and I don't like that.  It's been harder to motivate my kids than I had anticipated.  I have a lot to learn myself about being a good teacher.  

I'm searching for the courage to do what I have really wanted to do all along - my own thing. I don't want to have a long list of items to check off every day.  I want to be accountable to my kids.  I want to do well because I want them to do well. I want to wake up with my kids and I want us all to be excited about what we're doing.  Is that too idealistic?  Maybe. 

Candy is teaching her kids via the Thomas Jefferson Education method.  I just bought the book, The Thomas Jefferson Education by Oliver Van De Mille and I'm anxious to read it.  I've been browsing the TJed website, and I'm intrigued.  Here is a quote that I love:

"Education can’t be fixed as long as we believe this basic myth. The myth is that it is possible for one human being to educate another. The fact is that the only person who can fix education is the student."
"…Great teaching will solve our educational problems… Teachers teach and students educate… There are two types of great teachers which consistently motivate student-driven education: Mentors and Classics."

Oliver DeMille, A Thomas Jefferson Education, 

2nd Edition, pages 12-13

 

My Dad keeps telling me that homeschooling is about teaching or mentoring my children in a way that helps them discover a love of learning and an appreciation for hard work, after all, learning is work.  I would love nothing more than to lead my children in discovering that for themselves!

So, this is where I'm at, today.  There are reasons why COVA is comfortable to me right now.  The program that Nicole is in to help her with reading and spelling is not affordable to us outside of COVA.  Her progression this year is astounding.  We may stick with this for one more year for that one reason. 

The fork in the road is coming.  I can see it, and I've got to make a decision soon.