Burnings in our backyard

We're having a struggle around here, and feeling a bit like we're some crazy anomaly in this world. We have a neighbor who really, REALLY hates us.  Hate with a capital H.  We are too loud, she tells us to shut up all the time, and yesterday she yelled and Sean yelled back, "No!  They're playing!"  They had a small war of words in which we were told that patience for 5 and a half years was patience enough and how she's got "rights" to peace in her own home.  This is not the first time we've been told, either.  She's actually called my Father in law a swear word during one of her tirades. 

I admit it, I know we're loud, sometimes obnoxious and practically the antithesis of peaceful living, but we ARE making efforts.  This summer we spent most summer days "off campus"....or in the front yard, in an effort to keep the peace for our neighbor.  Okay, sometimes we've played loud, and she's yelled, and in my mind I bitterly complain about her bad moods and quietly yell back, saying things like, "No, I will not shush my children while they are laughing" or "...what about OUR right to peace in our backyard.."

We shut the door more often, even on nice days, and we pull our kids in the house as soon as we hear them fighting, screaming, or crying.  In my mind I had thought we had been doing so well.  We hadn't heard any yelling coming from the neighbor for quite a while, and our kids were one year older, and then it started again.  We put the trampoline on the cement pad next to the house, and away from the fence.  We were reminding our kids constantly to think about the people around them and watch their noise level.  We AREN'T blaring music or having late night parties.  But neighbor goes to bed at 6, and she has a late afternoon siesta, and her bedroom window can be seen from our dining room which is the place of all of our family gatherings.  She hates the gatherings.  15+ adults and a dozen children running around is bound to make some noise....but, to me, it's a good kind of noise. 

Several years ago I gave a Relief Society lesson about "loving your enemies" and "praying for those who persecute you..." and I remember telling the class this was hard for me because I couldn't think of anyone that hated me.  They all laughed and told me, "Just you wait!  You've got kids, you'll have enemies..."  I hated hearing that, and I couldn't imagine it at the time, but here we are, battling in our own back yard, truly feeling hated and hateful.

We are trying really hard not to feel anger towards her.  We're trying to push those feelings away, and we talk to our kids about loving our neighbors, but we are failing in our efforts.  I guess I can't expect my kids to do anything I'm not willing to do. I'm trying to be willing, but I'm stubborn, and Sean and I both experience flare ups of anger and defensiveness. 

Yesterday Nicole cried to me that she wanted to move.  I hear ya, kid!  When neighbor yells, my kids hit the floor (literally, at times).  She sounds so scary, I've felt the urge to run and hide as well. 

I want to be compassionate.  I want to be a good neighbor (sorry, Sean...good hands just doesn't fit here..), and I want to feel peaceful about my own actions in this matter.  We had previously decided that we would respond with silence to her screams.  Yesterday we momentarily forgot about that resolve and, I believe, threw some fuel on the fire burning in our backyard.  Today we'll try again to be more considerate.